It's a flat out Friday afternoon. No news there. But it does mean that this first post is much shorter than I would have preferred. Still, brevity goes hand-in-hand with wisdom. That's my line, and I'm sticking with it.

Reason for this rush? Another client request to source a writer who can draft content in an unlisted language. Last week Polish and Dutch, this week Russian and Turkish. Why bother going to all that trouble? Couldn't a translation agency take the English draft and rework the copy as required?

At Metia we prefer to use our Global Writer Network because it means that we can exercise a bit more control over proceedings for our clients. Not least because some of the English copy that comes our way, once translated from the original French, German or Mandarin, loses its way in translation.

I need to get back to my pals at one of the Russian press agencies. In the meantime, here are a couple of examples of translations into English that have come our way in the past.

Sometimes the copy betrays shameless bragging on behalf of the client. If only cluster servers had been around to increase operational efficiency and return on investment in the Nile Valley two millennia ago: “2000 years ago the ancient Egyptians didn't have any server clusters and had to laboriously make paper from mulberry tree bark or papyrus. Nowadays, paper manufacturing is significantly easier as it is automated: for instance, Acme AG in Oberkirch, Baden, controls its machinery with a number of XXXX servers…”

And this one turns the surreal dial right up to 11. “Comparing apples with apples is very difficult in that environment, even trying to define what an apple is, is extremely challenging. Acme Ltd has taken advantage of a new enterprise application layer that dictates how the system will be structured. This defines what an apple is. They will have a table of apples.”

If your head is aching, be reassured that we managed to tease clear meaning out of both examples in the final drafts, no tree bark required...